The Challenge 26 May,
2004
Yep, two weeks gone by
again, it's startin' to be a habit. Truly not by choice but
event driven. Had school last
week at
A Witness
Now, you folks out there who are not yet married or
are too young to even think about marriage don't tune out today because I
believe that if you read on you'll see some application here. Also, the ladies out there cannot tune out
either...okay?
Are you feeling that God is not listening to you
lately? Are you going through the
motions of Christianity and not feeling any special revelation or connection to
God. Many of you, like me, are moving so
fast and furious through life that we barely have time to talk to God and when
we do we expect to have some great quiet time and some great connection with
Him and then we just don't sometimes.
Our quiet time is not fulfilled, and we lose interest, and we find it
hard to read our bibles, pray, and just be quiet with HIM.
There are many reasons that may be causing this and
we've been exploring them recently... Sin, lack of focus on Him, more focus on
the things happening around us, busyness... and the list can go on. My anniversary was this week (as I stated
above) and so I've been reflecting on my marriage, my wife, and the family that
we dreamt about starting about 21 or 22 years ago when we really got serious
about each other. I was thinking about
how far we've come and how truly blessed I am to have the marriage that I
have. And how each and
every year I think that Deb & I grow closer and closer. That is not to say that we don't have
problems and that things are perfect - they are not always... but we do know
who is the Creator of our marriage and we both are working towards growing
together at all costs - we are both focused on working for our marriage and our
family and in all things we love each other.
I say all that and yet, there I was listening to Focus on the Family this morning and Dobson was talking
about marriage today and he read this passage from Malachi:
"Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no
longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your
hands. You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the
witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith
with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has
not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly
offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with
the wife of your youth. "I hate
divorce," says the LORD God of
So, I quickly hear this verse on the radio and come
back to the office and start reading it to myself over and over. In my heart I'm saying to myself that I often
am wondering why it feels as if God is not accepting my offerings of worship,
why my prayers seem to be bouncing off the heavens, and why I don't hear God
speaking to my heart as often as I wish He would and why my wife and I can't
seem to connect the way we'd both like to as often as we'd both like to. But I'm also saying to myself, I haven't
broken covenant with my wife... we're married 19 years now and still committed
to going until death do us part... so why is this verse just hanging in my
heart today?
I think it is because the covenant that God is
talking about here is more than just the keeping of the marriage contract. Maybe we break faith with our spouses in ways
that are not external! Jesus talks about
your insides much more than he talks about the external. God is looking at your heart and not the
things on the outside. Maybe when we get
too busy to talk to each other, when we don't spend time with each other, when
we focus on our jobs, ministry, activities and just the tons of other things we
do. Maybe when we don't invest in our
marriages the way God would want us to; He acts as a "witness between you and the wife of your youth". It goes on to say that God "hates divorce". Besides the typical "external"
meaning of that word, maybe God is saying that He hates you divorcing
(separating) your mind, thoughts, activities, and your heart from each other as
well.
Think about that for a moment. You and your spouse (or future spouse) are one flesh.
Would you ever think of leaving your leg behind for 12 or 14 hours a day
while you go to work? How
about separating yourself from your arm, your head, or your heart while you go
and do something else. You can't
do that - you wouldn't even think about doing that with your own body - you
can't! Right?
Now I'm not saying that you have to physically have your spouse there
with you each and every second but spiritually you need to ensure that you are
connected to the other part of your "one flesh" at all times. And when you aren't...God is acting as a "witness" between you and
your spouse by not listening to you until you square things away. Maybe if you spent more time investing in the
other part of your own flesh
then you'd have less time to lust, maybe you'd have a partner in prayer, maybe
you'd stop worrying about how your spouse won't do this or that or the other
thing, maybe you'd start building each other up the way God wants you to be
instead of looking at each others faults.
I just started working out again recently; lifting
weights and running and I'm starting to feel better about myself and my
attitude is improving, and I'm sleeping better.
Maybe, there is another portion of my own body - my own flesh - a part
of me that I am ignoring. Why is it
that I can dedicate myself to getting my physical body in shape and set aside
the time to do it and endure the pain of getting in shape, and set my mind to
accomplishing that mission and totally ignore a whole half of my own flesh...
the wife of my youth.
I would tell each of you that my marriage is a good one... but I think
God hung this verse on me at this time (my anniversary) to tell me that He is
being a "witness"
to me that it is not where He wants it and that it can be so much better.
Maybe, when I decided to exercise myself and build myself up, that should
include my whole self and not just the part of me that is in my physical
body! We so easily forget God's words...
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
Genesis 2:24
We are not by ourselves anymore. We are one Flesh! I don't know how God does it, He just
does. We forget it. We act like our spouses are still separate
flesh and we go about our own agenda's and we pray by ourselves, study by
ourselves, read by ourselves, minister by ourselves, and do all kids of things
by ourselves. We want our wives to be
more this or less that... we don't understand why he won't do this or that
ministry with me... when our husband is struggling with some sin we push him
away because the sin is not to our own liking and we feel too hurt. But we forget again - we divorce ourselves
from the fact that we are one flesh. It
is not some other person we are talking about here! It is our
own FLESH we are talking about here! Are you actually breaking your covenant with
your spouse because you are not looking at him/her as your own flesh... as ONE?
Husbands, maybe you need to sacrifice your own
desires (hum, that's a bible verse to, isn't it... look it up - I mean it!) and
do something that is not something that you typically like to do so that you
can be one with your wives. Wives, maybe
you also need to sacrifice things you are doing and quit beating up your
husbands for sin that they are working very hard to overcome and instead help
them. Maybe each of us needs to
sacrifice our own needs, desires, and wants and focus on the other half of our "one flesh" like it was our
own!
"So husbands ought to love their own wives as
their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh,
but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church." Ephesians 5:28-29
I'll give you two examples and then I'll stop
preaching... I used to hate working with teens.
Mostly because I didn't think I related to them and I didn't think I
could relate to them. My wife loved
working with teens. I broke down a few
years ago and sacrificed my own desire to stay as far away from teens as
possible and I now work with teens. I
did it so I could have more in common with the other half of my own flesh - my
wife. God has now changed my heart and I
now love working with teens, as much as my wife does and we are now one flesh
in this aspect of our marriage. The
second example is that there is more than one friend of mine who struggles with
the sin of lust (I do as well but that is not the point here). Instead of keeping that sin in the closet of
their marriages for one reason or another, they and God have brought their
wives into the knowledge of that sin.
These men are Godly men who are struggling with the world, the flesh and
the devil to eradicate this sin from their lives - to raise the bar higher and
ignore the constant drum beat of this culture that lust is okay. In a couple of instances, the wife has
remembered that it is her own flesh that is struggling and has sacrificed her
own desires to be repulsed and to not understand and has instead entered the
battle to eradicate this sin from their one flesh. In other instances, the wife has forgotten
that there is only one flesh in marriage and there is great marital strife.
Those of you who are younger...God has a future
spouse in mind for you and the wife or husband of your youth is in your
future. Maybe you are divorcing yourself
from your future spouse by not being pure, using dating for the wrong reasons,
or allowing yourself to fall into the lust patterns that are so widely seen as
normal in this culture. Whatever it
is... maybe God is acting as a "witness"
to you as well? A "witness" that there is
something better in your future that God has in mind for you and you are
ignoring that!
When was the last time you not only prayed for your
spouse but prayed with them? I know we
go to bible studies with our spouses but when was the last time we
"studied the bible" with our spouse?
I know we read the bible but when was the last
time you read the bible with your spouse?
You younger folks who are dating/going out... have you prayed with your
significant other? Have you studied the
bible together? Do you read the bible
together? Why not? Afraid it might scare them off... that they
might break up with you? Hum... think
about that... do you want to be going out with someone who won't pray with you,
who won't read the bible with you?
Are you praying with your wife/husband? Why not - too busy? Have you studied the Bible with your
spouse? Why not? Not enough time? Are you ministering with your spouse? Why not?
Because it's not your bag? It is now brother or sister! I'm not doing perfect in all these areas
either... I'm challenging myself as well as you all. Get with the program folks - God is being a "Witness" between you and your spouse!
Until next week time ~ Dave
To
make comments, to suggest topics you'd like me to tackle, to get past
devotionals, or to be added to this weekly "devotional email" please
write to: Dave
Hansen at philip419@earthlink.net